Wednesday, August 31, 2011

August 31, 2011

JJ,
What a trooper you are!!! We spent 5 hours in the ER last night and you came out sporting 2 new staples in your head. You are so worried that people are going to laugh at you, it just breaks my heart. And what broke my heart even more was the fact that the staples seem to really hurt you. To see you scream out in such pain, it really makes me wonder how numb you were. In fact it didn't stop hurting until about 20 minutes after we left. You were so limp in my arms screaming that it hurt, you couldn't even move you seem to be in so much pain. It was one of those moments where I was heart broken for you and so mad at the HN because he said it wouldn't hurt and it did. He said you probably felt a burning sensation, I don't know I've never had staples.

Once we were finally clear to go, we drove around looking for a place to get you a M&M milkshake, not an easy task at 1230 in the morning. But we finally found one a little after 1. I was determined to get you a milkshake after the drama that occurred when the HN put the staples in your head. On the way home, it came to surface that you thought the staples had gone into your brain. It took alot of talking to assure you that the staple didn't even go through your skull. And then as we got closer to home you started getting scared because you didn't want to go to sleep because you might roll onto that side of your head and push the staples into your brain. You didn't even want to take Motrin because you were scared it would make you not feel the staples. But as soon as I got you into the family room I think you were out in about 5 minutes flat. Whew, I am so thankful you are still resting and that we got the rite of passage into boyhood over with. Just please, please no broken bones cause I think that is where I will completely lose it!!!!!
Love, Mom

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

August 24, 2011

LJ,
It's amazing to see you stepping out in your faith on your own. You are growing, making mistakes, hitting the mark and when Papa and I relax and let God move in your life: you are bearing fruit!!!! We have started going to Glenn Care again. This is something you don't really like to do, but as a family it is our way of ministering to those in the nursing home who don't have family or friends to visit. At lunch time yesterday I was preparing you guys for our evening visit and talking about how important it is that we not only go but do so with a happy heart. Earlier that morning we had talked about Luke 12:33-35. I was talking about how when we go and visit it makes these men and women feel valued and how God has told us not to forget about the poor, old and sick. And as I was going to continue, you interrupted: "Yeah, and if we go in with a grumpy heart we aren't storing up treasures in heaven are we? Cause it doesn't make God happy if we go but don't want to be nice to anyone."

Yes, yes, yes, you got it my precious child. You are starting to understand that its not what you do but why and how. And you know what, I saw a little piece of your heart soften that day. God is really working in you!! You are working at being a peace maker and doing what you are asked to do without too much complaining. I see it son, we really see it and give praise to the Lord for all he is doing within you!!!!! Keep growing my precious son, keep growing in the Lord!!!
Love, Mom

Saturday, August 20, 2011

August 20, 2011

CJ,
My precious daughter. How tender hearted you are!!! I don't think it matters, so much what is being said to you, but when our voices get stern with you: you just wilt!!!!! I quickly have to look at you and affirm that I still love you and give you a big hug or you will just crumble in tears. This has always been a hard thing to remember because you have two amazing brothers that only understand loud. Had I not grown up with the same tender heart, I would believe everyone else who says you are just being manipulative, but I know that isn't the case. It really hurts you and makes you feel less than special when someone raises their voice at you. It's just the way God made you. (Besides..... you use the charm to get what you want not to get out of trouble; I DO have your number!!!!)

I was always told: "Write down every cute thing your children said OR you will forget them!" I didn't and have forgotten so much BUT not this one:

You had been playing in a blue tub filled with water all morning and I guess too busy having fun to stop and go to the bathroom!!! So as we pulled off your wet clothes you exclaimed: "Oh mommy, the rust is back!!!!"

I love you, baby girl!!!!! Mom

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

August 16, 2011

JJ,
Wow you lost another tooth today and it was a bit of a dramatic event. This is your 3rd tooth but you were so upset about losing it because you were afraid of people making fun of you. Such a tender heart you have!!!

This morning after you woke up, you went into the family room, sat down on the futon, called my name and then patted beside you. How could I not stop everything I was doing to snuggle with you for a moment!!!! These are the times that I adore having you for a son!!!! I get to enjoy the real, honest, no walls up you that everyone else doesn't have a clue about.

You told us today that you weren't getting married, if you wanted kids you were just going to adopt them. At least that is progress!!! A few months ago you declared that you weren't ever going to move out, you were just going to live with us and play video games forever!!!!! Thanks for giving us so much to laugh at, you really do brighten up our days!!!!
Love, Mom

Saturday, August 13, 2011

August 13, 2011

CJ,
Well today you got to ride on float with the festival queens as apart of the court because you were 1st runner up!! I am still mulling over the fact that I put you in a pageant. You seemed to have a ball and say you want to do it again next year IF you can have a purple dress. My only fear is that you might equate your value with the opinion of the judges. I often wonder am I setting you up for failure by introducing you to this "crowd?" Only time will tell, but know all I want you to do is have fun!!!!! And even if you never win a title from a pageant, you will always be my princess and I am so proud of you for how you are supporting your friend.... yeah I know I'm kinda dragging you to some of these events to say hello but I think it is important to be happy for our friends and and rejoice in their accomplishments instead of looking at what we didn't get or win. If you want to make good friends you first have to be a good friend!!!! You have such a big heart and I am so proud to call myself your mom!!!!
Love, Mom

Thursday, August 11, 2011

August 11, 2011

LJ,
 What a week it has been for us!!! You are having a friend spend the night and I pray that this friendship grows!!! You are such a wonderful kid... a little testy but I think you get that from me. Papa says he seems more discernment coming from you. I pray that this is true!!! You have such a strong will that can be used for good or for bad. My prayer is that you will use it to glorify God.

You and your friend went skateboarding and threw the ball around. You are in your element when it comes to these things. Your desire right now is to be a pitcher when you start kid pitch next year. I am certain if you keep working on it, this will be a reality!!!!

You said something sweet at the table about CJ: that you hope she wins the pageant next year. You made sure she didn't hear you and I am glad to see your sensitive side starting to come out concerning your sister and brother. Always remember that God placed you first for a reason and I can only imagine the responsibility you feel at times but know that its for a purpose and God knew you would be the perfect big brother to both JJ and CJ. I know they don't always listen to you, but keep on loving on them and one day you will see just how much they look up to you!!!!! Especially, JJ. I love you so much, sweet heart: more than words can express!!!!
Love, Mom

Monday, August 8, 2011

August 8, 2011

LJ,
Well, we are off to a new school year!!! I struggled to keep it on the right foot. I will tell you one thing, it is hard raising a young man, really hard! I don't know when to give, when to stand firm or when to just have fun. I want you to know I'm trying, really trying to be the best mom for you, not perfect: just the best.

You have taken to the piano we got. You play amazingly and I don't just say that cause you're my son. You have a wonderful talent with music and its hard not to be more pushy about it. I see your potential and although you love to play, you don't want to take lessons. It's hard not to make this an issue and I hope we are doing the right thing by just allowing you to play on your own. I did say I wanted you to be a self learner and maybe if I step back you will teach me a thing or two. One thing I do know for certain: it brings me great joy to hear you practice the same song over and over and over until you get it right. Seeing your smile light up your face when you can play it flawlessly, excites me beyond words. You are such a talented young man. Yes, you are a strong willed child but I love that about you!!!! Don't change to please the world, just continue to grow and be molded by the Lord!!!!
Love, Mom

Friday, August 5, 2011

August 5, 2011

JJ,
I did not have to wait long for you to give me something to write about today, in fact I'm still wiping the tears from my cheeks for laughing so hard. And here is why:

A couple of weeks ago we rented the new Yogi Bear Movie and I guess Sir Mixalot's I like big butts was one of the songs in the movie. But according to you the song goes a little like this:

I............like................. big butts in a can.

And to hear you go around the house singing it is just too funny, too funny to correct you. Maybe one day you will realize you are singing the wrong words but I hope not. Thanks for always brightening our day!!! Oh and just so we don't forget, last night you realized that your adult tooth is coming in where your front tooth  was knocked out. What am I going to do with you? You are growing up so fast and it is a joy to watch you navigate the waters of your childhood. How blessed I am to have you as my son!!!
Love, Mom

Thursday, August 4, 2011

August 4, 2011

CJ,
What a sweetie you are. Lately you have been coming to me with a pony tail holder and saying: "Mommy, I want to look just like you." It just melts my heart the way you say that. You have such a heart to help, especially at the Soup Kitchen we volunteer at. You love to help make the lemonade and sweep the floor. You enjoy playing with your brothers and try to do everything they do. You love to fish with your daddy and your favorite place to go is the beach. You love staying near the shore where the waves crash into the sand and don't care for the deep water. It seems like so much of you contradicts. It is amazing to see your personality grow and girl you just plan wear me out everyday and have from day one!!!! But I wouldn't have it any other way.
Love, Mom

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

August 3, 2011

JJ,
You so crazy!!!! You come up with some of the funniest stories and today I am going to write down one you told us. Partly because it reveals to admiration you have for your brother and the other cause, well it was funny!!!

On the way to the base library, LJ declared he no longer wanted to be a world traveler when he grown up. Nope he has now decided to become a dancer. This really upset you because you had promised him you would build him a plane to travel in. So of course I had to do damage control and told you that you could still build him an airplane because if LJ became famous he would have to travel all around the world. Some how the conversation turned to the fact that I would be really old and probably in a wheel chair by then. (This was your imput JJ) And away with this story you really flew and it went something like this:

Laughing JJ announces from the back back seat: " yeah that would be really funny, mom would go rolling all the way to the back of the plane when it took off screaming ahhhhhhhh. And then before we landed I would make sure to open the bathroom door so when we were going down you would roll right into the bathroom and your face would go right into the toilet." At this point you are beyond hysterics and we can not understand a word you are saying. I'm not sure if I should be disturbed by the fact that you are picturing my face in a toilet or very proud at the fact that you have a vivid imagination. But you know what, if it makes you laugh that crazy laugh you have, then go right ahead cause it just energizes me so much.

My question is will you build me my own airplane and have a special seat for my wheel chair so I don't roll all over the place?!?!
Love, Mom

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

August 2, 2011

LJ,
It is so good to finally be home with you!!!! I never realized how much you talk or honestly how much I ignore you. I am so sorry for this!!! I am going to make an effort to really start listening to what you have to say. You are an amazing young boy who is incredibly frustrated with his parents. Both Papa and I see how we haven't been the parents you need us to be. I pray you see the effort that we are making in trying to reconnect with you and make you feel valued. You are so very precious to us and to think that you might feel insignificant; just breaks my heart. We love you so much buddy and we are amazed at how much you have grown in just two weeks!!! You are not our little boy anymore but are on the bridge heading over to be a young man. It's a hard pill for a mama to swallow but I will because you are turning out to be so bright and handsome and caring and so very loved!!!!
Love, Mom

Monday, August 1, 2011

August 1, 2011

JJ,
My precious son, what are the odds that you would have the day you had when it's your turn for me to write about. You have the same sense of humor that your father has and boy do we love to hear you laugh with delight!!! Nothing lifts my spirits like the sound of your laugh!!!! You are my most misunderstood child. You have always guarded yourself, don't care for strangers, and have no issue telling others what you think and it breaks my heart to see how you wear your heart on your sleeve and get it hurt so easily. I think I get you so well because you are so much like your dad. People see it as favoritism but I see it as I just get you. Just like tonight, after we came home from the pool and you started having a reaction to something in the pool. When everyone is trying to force you to do this or that or put this or that on it.... I knew I just needed to get you calmed down and let the benedryl kick in. Once I was able to show you that the cool wash cloth would help stop the burning, then I knew I could get you in the tub and the pool water off you. I knew I wouldn't be able to get anything else on your legs and I also knew once I got you relaxed and calm I could also get you back in bed and you would fall asleep. And you did. My heart breaks that you had to go through this ordeal and I actually made it worse with the anti itching cream but so thankful I was able to make it up to you and make it all better.

I'm also glad that you still want me to sing skinnamarink each night. Don't grow up too fast sweetheart and I hope you always think that kisses from girls, except me, are yucky!!!!
Love, Mom